the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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