someone threw a dead crab at me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
