See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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