Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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