I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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