oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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