He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Still dying that you shit outside
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
