go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
