she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
