Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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