But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
