if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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