The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my liver is dry heaving
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
