Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
