I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
