Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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