We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
