Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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