Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
