I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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