Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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