ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
