Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I am naked and annoyed.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
