you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
