dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
