He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
