I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
