Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
