it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
her vagine was all disorganized.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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