went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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