he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
