I am in a vortex of obligation.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
