just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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