Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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