They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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