We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
