After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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