I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
