He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
