your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
