I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
