I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
