I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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