Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
