Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My room smells like vodka and shame
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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