I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
