It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
