so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
