the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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