If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
