Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
